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Ebook About Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.Book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Review :
There are books about polyamory, and books about attachment, and books about trauma, but as far as I know, this is the first to put them all together in one cohesive theory/work.Possibly because it's the middle of the pandemic, and my reading brain isn't as sharp, but the beginning chapters of the book were a little dry and hard for me to get into. However, the middle and ending were both more readable, and helpful.One concept the author touched on that I'd never seen before, is our childhood attachment patterns might be MIXED. We might have had one parent/adult to whom we enjoyed a secure attachment, and another who was inconsistent, even abusive/traumatic. As this translates to polyamory, we might have one partner to whom we are securely attached, and another with whom our attachment is anxious, avoidant, or mixed, possibly because they push those same buttons. This was tremendously helpful for me.The book acknowledges the many different ways people "poly:" from an existing monogamous relationship, as solo polyam, from swinging, and more, makes it more accessible to all the different kinds of people seeking to be polysecure. It also addresses the issue of whether people are inherently polyamorous (born this way), or it's a lifestyle choice, and the answer seems to be, Yes. Some people DO feel they were born polyamorous, and others choose it as a lifestyle, and neither position is wrong, BUT having partners with different outlooks can create friction within that relationship, even though both parties are polyamorous.The HEARTS concept of attaching to our partners, and even, to ourselves, also great. Relationships aren't like bookcases from Ikea - each one is different, BUT having concrete steps to take to improve a relationship that we might not have thought of, is great. I also really liked the last section, on building a more secure relationship with ourselves.Every polyamorous person, and every therapist who works with polyamorous people, should put a copy of this book on their shelves. Polysecure manages to provide a solidly-researched view of the impact of insecure attachment on polyamorous relationships without being losing the warm and encouragement needed by partners and individuals navigating these waters. Jessica writes with a clear-eyed but caring style that lets you into her world, while also bringing academic psych material into the conversation, with years of non-monogamy counseling experience informing the intersection of the two. This is first book of its kind I've read, despite attending (and speaking at) poly conferences and reading widely on non-monogamy. It's a serious, scientific look at how secure attachment (or lack thereof) impacts any relationship, but specifically a non-monogamous one. And its written in an engaging way that pulls you into the worldview of, for example, a small child with an erratic mother, and then into the worldview of that same small child, now grown up and anxious over his partner's other love interests. Extremely valuable, well-written, and carefully narrated. Read Online Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Download Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy PDF Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Mobi Free Reading Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Download Free Pdf Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy PDF Online Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Mobi Online Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Reading Online Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Read Online Jessica Fern Download Jessica Fern Jessica Fern PDF Jessica Fern Mobi Free Reading Jessica Fern Download Free Pdf Jessica Fern PDF Online Jessica Fern Mobi Online Jessica Fern Reading Online Jessica FernRead Online 15th Affair (Women's Murder Club) By James Patterson
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